Yesterday a person said "you haven’t changed either"..and it got me thinking that maybe it’s a pretense of acting like the person I was 3 years ago or maybe 5 cuz that is how the person knows me. I have changed and things have changed too, I lead a different life now, and so does that person. How can it be possibly the same then?

Not accepting it is a separate thing altogether but believing your behavior to be reality that you actually get confused as to what the truth is..is weird. Its like that novel in English 3rd year in ‘The Balcony’ where mirror portray your wana-be-reality to such a great extent That role-playing becomes more real than reality itself.

I think the basic thing is that you remain a good person and that remains constant.

You know how everything else seems to be almost irrelevant when put in comparison with something vital. Exactly what is happening..that something is getting closer.

Saw Marley and Me. It’s an amazingly realistic and simplistic movie that depicts most of the things that happen when you get married, have kids and decide to not continue with your job (oh its also about Marley..the 100 pound doggy who continues to test everyone's patience by acting like the world's most impulsive dog). It chronicles the growth of a couple and the impact their pet has on their family throughout their life. So, coming to the point, seeing Jenny and John..i envisioned what they would have and its really sweet. But it would be sweeter if I had something like that too. Then I would be truly able to understand why this is okay. Maybe not even then but still. :)

Things match in life. You in your head differentiate your thoughts from their ideas and then you find out out they are exactly like yours, basic issues and happy things remain analogous. It shows that cultures don’t matter but the person does. Always pleasant to find someone like minded.
:)

The gurgling feelings inside me are compelling me to think about stuff I don’t wana think about. And then I dream about the same thing. Not done. But atleast I dream. Now. :)
Got my first salary..and it feels great. It’s a small amount but its mine..Mineeeeeeee:)..(and mom & dads).

Muuaah.

Eluding reality

Nothing is permanent. I know that. We know that. So, its almost like I don’t want to feel too much happiness or sorrow by the changing circumstances except that put the latter a few (say, a 1565x10000) notches higher. Now, I would truly like to believe that we should accept what is given to us but a small part of me says that I shouldn’t. I should always try to aim at better..much better. And that is what is written. Calvin’s destiny can’t be all that true. Its definitely puzzling though. Lets seeeeeee.

Internship over..college begun. It’s a cycle that will go on for another year and a half. It’s a pretty long course especially since all my friends are clearing out this year (except the ones doing LL.B..oh you must have got that..:)). And that too, a person told me, second graduation. I was almost on the verge of arguing but then i realised its true. Fine. I better be reciprocated. Like really.:)
E and I went and sat in Stephen’s cafeteria and it’s actually nice. We were there for 2 hours (yeah, my timetable is pretty lenient) and were discussing/bitching about law(yers)..interesting conversation that made and a cup (okay, two) of coffee..neattt!!:). Whinyyy mood.

On a totally different tangent, my hair is long again. :):)

And she tells me to give them all..it won’t be as hard as you make it to be. She gave Economics honors and BA honors exams together (and got a distinction in both which at that time was a massive deal). But someone has got to convince her that she was a genius and her daughter’s (wow, felt real good saying it) not. Like she thinks both of us are equally fair but anyone else who sees us would say, without even thinking twice, that my mom is at least two shades fairer. Her response to everyone being ‘bacchi hai. She goes to college. She’s tanned’. Really? I wish I was like her though..

Finally, the fun weekends have started. Work the whole week and shopping on the weekend. Not shopping shopping but going out and eating AND shopping..okay, I know I ve used this word 4 times already but I don’t shop as much as you think I do. It’s just the very idea that’s exciting. Then watching movies (saw ‘break ke baad’ and ‘band baaja baraat’ both of which were good except the ridiculous ending and case39 which was okishh :)). And sleeeeeeeping. You SEEEEEEEE what I am talking about. Happpppy weekends for a month of which only 10 days are left.

Ankur may get married in 2 to 2.5 years. It’s not tomorrow and we knew it already but the very idea becoming a reality is a little disturbing yet exceedingly pleasant. Woohoo!

Okay, I should get back to researching on the boring Gujarat solar power plant.

Muah.

Ps-I can’t decide who is cuter..Yashvi or Sana..they are at par right now. :)

In reference to pugsie's http://pugslie.blogspot.com/2011/01/universal-problem-me-thinks.html... because we cannot not expect. We are all selfish. We cannot be happy unless we have our demands met. If, for instance, there was a person that we gave everything to..out of our own happiness and that person happily kept taking it..u know somewhere inside..probably a tiny tiny tiny fraction of our mind/heart will Want that person to do something in reciprocation appreciating what we have done. I mean, however callous it may sound, we even expect God to listen to our prayers so how can we not have those expectations from men/women. Now, you’ve either got to be a super human or have a person in your life who fulfills your expectations(out of his own will but Also because you are doing the exact same thing) whatever name you give it..and say that we don’t expect anything from each other when you do and you have those met. There are no selfless good deeds as Joey states. A feeling of gratitude or a big gift(preferably:D)..anything..but we need something. :)

Hum neki kar dariya main daal hi nahi sakte..its humanly impossible. We can do good, show it to people and remember it for future references. But here's hoping that we'll improve:)

:)

Only 17+1 months to go..happppppppppppy new year all. Hope you have a very healthy and thus a happy 2011. Partaaaaaaaay! :)
Love to all!:)